Thursday, July 24, 2008

Week 6 Prompt - Me

If I hear one more “you are the wind beneath my wings” I’m going to vomit. Literally. All over the floor and hopefully on Miss Suzie’s shoes. She’s a curmudgeon of a woman. 4.’11″, 80, and nosey as hell. I’m hope it has chunks. My vomit. Slouching in my chair I eyeball the happy couple. My best friend and my ex-fiancée together for ever. And their wedding song.

You Had Me From Hello.

Said hello came when I finally arranged for my life long best friend to meet my fiancée.

I hope they choke on the wedding cake. Or possibly get a tin can stuck in the wedding car’s exhaust pipe. Karma happens.

But apparently not for some time for me. In my peripherals I see Wes sidling closer to me avoiding Miss Suzie's pink taffeta monstrosity of a dress - no small feat. I try to edge away in the opposite direction only to trip on a bowling pin left over from some poor attempt of a dance ice breaker. I watch in a disinterested sort of way as the ballroom floor rushes up to catch me. In mid flight I feel a jerk and with a numb terror realize Wes had attempted to catch me by yanking on the purely decorative swash of fabric draped over one hip. A rip...and I was on the floor, dress less.

Honestly. Hasn't life screwed me over enough lately? Was it not enough that I had two parking tickets jammed in my glove compartment (one of which for parking in front of my own driveway) and had managed somehow last Friday to dump bleach into my jean load instead of detergent? Were male dogs always going to try and pee on my leg? Would it rain just as I leave the hairdressers?

Alright more to come later with this post. I'm feeling quite sick tonight having already spent a lovely few minutes contemplating life using the toliet bowl as my scrying mirror. More to come tomorrow!

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